the online incarnation of central michigan university's poet's collective.
I love the first and last lines, and I really enjoy the images of the middle portion, but I think, as lines, they could be stronger. I also think that the title is a little easy.
i think the title could be the first line. for revision, i think i'd try putting syllable limits on each line, like Marianne Moore. i dig circadian rhythms, but i think i'd dig them more in another poem.that's what i got for you, sucka.
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2 comments:
I love the first and last lines, and I really enjoy the images of the middle portion, but I think, as lines, they could be stronger. I also think that the title is a little easy.
i think the title could be the first line.
for revision, i think i'd try putting syllable limits on each line, like Marianne Moore.
i dig circadian rhythms, but i think i'd dig them more in another poem.
that's what i got for you, sucka.
Post a Comment