Saturday, November 11, 2006

Here's my haiku, slightly revised

I tried to mess around with the line breaks, but nothing really sounded right, so if anyone has any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it.

madman for prophet

your sweater-vest is showing
off again in the beerlight.

your buildings will crumble, and I
won’t share my vermouth

when my dreams are of turtles and
Scooby Doo interrupts me.

1 comment:

cw said...

kev-star 8000,

here's some ideas:

your sweater-vest is showing off again in the beerlight. your buildings/will crumble & I won't share/my vermouth when my dreams/are of turtles and Scooby Doo interrupts me.

just a thought.