I saved my last pink Starburst for you.
Thank you for saving
the banana bread
it was full of walnuts much
like Marie Antoinette
you bit my nails for me
I owe you one
generally, I am a multi-tasker:
let me floss your teeth
and lull you to sleep
after I perform this mighty blow job.
2 comments:
i really liked this! BUT, if you're accepting constructive criticism: i think the last line could've been better. i think blow jobs are awesome and everything, but, you could come up with a wittier way to paint the picture without so directly saying it... i think it'd be really cool that way. just my opinion..
I disagree. I think that the poem works on the surprise bluntness of the ending. It's sweet and then it's kind of nasty. I say keep the last line.
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